In the spirit of full disclosure, I've decided to reveal ten strange things about myself right away. Just so, you know, everyone gets it right from the start.
1- I love mushroom hunting. LOVE it. I don't even eat most of the mushrooms I collect: I just like finding them. I think this has something to do with an overly goal-oriented type A personality (edging into an "A-" lately...). I get bored just wandering through the woods; I need to be LOOKING for something. Plus, mushrooms are just... neat-o.
2- Obviously, I get a thrill from itemization of any kind. But more particularly, I love the lists you get when attending summer camp, or conferences, or going off to college for the first time-- "What to Bring." For instance, I saved (!!) a list from Camp Bernadette, a Catholic camp I attended for three damp and miserable summers, attempting to read Diana Ackerman books (about nature!!) in kayaks, deep right field, and while standing in line to practice archery:
1. Enough t-shirts, underpants, shorts, and socks for two weeks
2. A pair of closed-toe shoes
3. A pair of jeans for horseback riding
4. Toothpaste and toothbrush
5. Flashlight
6. Sunscreen
7. Bug repellant containing "DEET"
8. Although toilet paper is provided, some campers may wish to bring their own. [!!]
It still gives me profound satisfaction.
3- I have a preternatural ability to match colors. And I love to do so. I have actually selected from a bin of Granny Smith Apples the ones that best matched my chartreuse chairs.
4- I wear underwear underneath pantyhose. (And am incapable, almost, of propriety. So be forewarned!)
5- I rarely buy tissues, but when I do, they MUST be Puffs Plus with Lotion. My Mom totally wouldn't buy them growing up, and although I've outgrown eating all the sugary cereals she wouldn't let us eat, I will NOT compromise my philtrum!
6- I have the world's narrowest, longest, flattest feet (microcosm of a macrocosm, as they say). I HATE shoe shopping, and when I find shoes that fit, I buy many pairs. Also: I never wore shoes without socks until a couple of years ago, when I realized how dorky it really looked. Especially with pants that are too short. Which almost all of mine were at the time.
7- I am flexible enough to sit cross-legged, then lay all the way back. I actually sleep this way most nights. I worry about this, since it is bad for my knees. I'm trying to train myself out of it. On another sleeping note, my roommate in boarding school once told me that I always slept with one arm over my face. This was untrue (I did that in the morning because she was so noisy and I wanted to indicate that I was still asleep), but I was so delighted that someone noticed something like that about me, that I started to sleep like that all the time.
8- I'm a vegetarian who loves meat, and doesn't think killing animals is wrong. I'll spare you the specifics, but I do it for environmental reasons.
9- Although it's not particularly strange to have a favorite number, I do have one. Ten guesses what it is!
10- I don't know what date my husband and I got married. Neither does he. Sometime around January 15th, we pull out the old marriage certificate and double-check.
So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
P.S. I cannot vouch for the palatability of this CD, only the coolness of its cover design. Buy it here.
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5 comments:
Having the world's longest, narrowest feet is a damn sight better than having the world's longest, WIDEST feet. No matter how hard I try to prettify myself, I will always be condemned to man shoes. Or possibly transvestite shoes. (Which I have actually looked into, and which bear a demoralizingly close resemblance to stripper shoes, overall. Clear heels and everything.)
I once wore a pair of 12-inch platforms in a shoestore in San Francisco that mainly served the tranny population. I remember some very sassy man looking up at me half in awe, half in ridicule. It's a combination not frequently found in the world. And God Bless You for leaving a comment on every post.
January 16Th is your wedding date...you know the wedding I was informed about less than 24 hours before it took place, thus not allowing me to attend my ONLY daughter's nuptials...
In the interests of JUSTICE, I must argue that you actually DID sleep that way, at least occasionally. Like, real sleep...drool, snores, sleep talk etc. Not fake drool either. I know the difference between your actress-sleeping and your real sleeping, Ms. Farris. Creepy? Perhaps. But true.
i wanna come mushroom hunting.
and you need to read the first story in the marcovaldo book ilya brought you. NOW.
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